All alone

Today my mother left to Rhode Island so i am left here, in Puerto Rico with my dad and grandmother. I went to the psychologist today with my gather and he got my anger levels to the top. I can't sustain this anger i feel for him because all he talks is "Your mother is [this] your mother did [that]" which honestly, i don't give a rat's feces what she did who she slept with or anything but apparently my father cares too much to let go. HE doesn't understand that i love and respect my mother because she's the only one i got. He get's pissed off all the time she calls him or does anything to him in any sense of the way. He is oblivious to the fact that my mother, though she did something horrible, is not the bad guy. She is not a saint i say that now, but she's not the freakin' devil either. She tries to get the best and works her arse off for me and herself. My father is apparently an overzealous freak who thinks everyone is against him. He's that type of person who.. Let's just say he isn't a very nice guy. I call him, "Ruins everything". Well Ruins everything is not that type of guy you want in your life. He says one thing and he does the next worst thing he is not the type of guy that you wish you'd never meet. He's the type of guy who says he cares, yet totally destroys you with all that supposed "Love" he gives you. He's that boy you dated and couldn't leave because he always made you feel insecure about yourself and made you feel like shit whenever you said something or even mentioned anything about leaving him. Sometimes, i've felt suicidal thanks to him. Don't get me wrong about all that i've mentioned. He's my father and i love and respect him but.. For F$%#'s sake! I can't take this confounded life he's given me! I'd prefer living in a cardboard box with my mother than live with him in a mansion. Why? Because atleast the cardboard box will stay clean everyday. If "Ruins everything" had a mansion, it would be ground zero by now. He's the worst house keeper ever. HE doesn't flush, he doesn't care for his pets and he definitely doesn't care for his neighbors. I can't wait until my grandmother comes tomorrow.. She's going to come in her fuel-efficient godly car we call a yaris. I hope.. I really do hope.. That she comes to my rescue. "Ruins everything" has a gallery that he doesn't even work there now. He does, but he doesn't do exhibitions or anything he just sits around moping and whining like a spoiled child about how his life sucks and how everyone hates him. I give him the middle finger when he does this because i can't take that insufferable whine of his. It's like nails scraping a chalkboard. He doesn't understand the fact that though everyone tries to help him he just pushes them away. He keeps no promise yet everyone respects him. Is it just that "Ruins everything" cares for adults but.. No his own child? Is that why my sister left me? Because of him? Does he even have any resentment of not complying with his promises? Do i deserve being with him? I mean.. Is he a diamond in the rough.. or just a piece of worthless trash..? How long until he's gone? Will i be sad? Will i be happy? I wish it was easier....

Signed,
IWishItWasEasier